Monday, March 1, 2010
The Big V
Virginity is a concept that was originally used as assurance that a man's line would not be contaminated with another man's seed. You knew the little filly you just bought and bedded was carrying some other guy's bastard child which would make you the laughing stock and jeopardize the family fortune. Here in the 21st century this isn't a concern. Two of man's greatest items - birth control and DNA testing people! In a world where girls and women have more than enough body issues and self doubt on the precipice of their dawning adulthood, do we need to add this one? Virginity, vulvuloplasty, re-virginization? Why? WHY? We are surgeons, business women, CEO's, PR exec's, writers, academics, or just plain old Jane trying to get through another day but hell! This is not something to encourage in women, a self hatred of our sexual selves. And gentlemen, believe me when I say that you will have a far better time in the boudoir if your lady isn't a shrinking violet in virginal white. Who wants to be a teacher all the time huh?
Last I checked, Darfur was still a horrific mess, Haiti is effed right up and there are starving children all over the world - maybe stop obsessing about vaginas and expend the energy more constructively huh?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
These are the options?
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Future of ICD's?

- Fluoroscopy is not required intraop
- risk of complications such as pneumothorax, hemothorax, myocardial perforation and lead dislodgement are completely removed
- No introduction into the vascular system - especially useful in pediatric patients and patients with difficult or not vascular patentcy
- No risk of SVC vein occlusion or need for possible laser lead extraction for subsequent lead revision
- lower risk of lead dislodgement
These risks are minimized or bypassed due to the fact that the lead system is implanted entirely subcutaneously. The defibrillation coil runs parallel to the left aspect of the sternum and the lead body is then tunneled along (approximately) the 6th intercostal space to the device which is implanted parasternally (approximately 5 inches inferior to traditional placement and slighly more lateral).
The initial experiences that were reported described a virtually equivalent tolerance to alternate device placement, and not perceived increased patient discomfort when compared with traditional placement. DFT's were also successful at 65 joules or less allowing for a safety margin of at least 15J, given the devices maximum output at ~80 joules. This method of course is contraindicated in those who DO have an underlying pacing indication. That being said, the investigators did note that success of the post-shock pacing at higher than traditional values.
I personally am cautiously optimistic about the early success of this approach to implantation. I would like to see how the lead behaves chronically while it is in perpetual contact with subcuticular tissue. How will the leads perform chronically? How (if at all) will lead maturation manifest? Can the defibrillation coil become indurated with scar tissue? Will weight changes or either a decrease or increase in fat affect DFT's? How will that impact the leads efficacy? Only time will tell.
Discuss...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Arrhythmia Device Follow-up 101
It may sound a tad hokey but the greatest tool (usually) you have in your arsenal for following and troubleshooting CRM's is definitely your patient. Unless the patient is clearly a veterinary historian or otherwise inclined to vague and non-specific symptom relation, they are your best jumping off point. I can illustrate this with a very good example I recently encountered. A patient of mine, Mr. P, came to clinic for his annual check up. His original implant indication was sick sinus syndrome and for the past 5 years has had a total pacing percentage of no more than <0.1%.>30 bpm. He indeed after 5 years of almost no pacing, became fully pacemaker dependent. This is not an unusual occurrence as ~15-25% of SSS patients will develop varying degrees of AV block.
Mr. P was programmed to a rate responsive mode with a conservative rate response curve and performed a hall walk. In comparison with his marked shortness of breath walking 20 feet from the waiting room to the clinic versus the hallwalk totalling 60 feet, he was totally relieved of his symptoms with the new parameters.
I was quite lucky to have such a diligent and observant patient to aid me in programming his appropriately. More often than not, you will be met with stoicism or vague reporting of symptoms and parameters will by and large become trial and error.
The take home message here is listening to your patients can make your job easier.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Divorce Diary 1.2
1) Have $300 cash when you go to your lawyer - they WILL wait until a cheque clears to get to work.
2) I can't stress this one enough - READ EVERY WORD OF EVERY CONTRACT. THOROUGHLY - dictionaries are useful in the event of legal jargon
3) You divorce spouses, not family. This is much easier in theory than in practice.
4) You will get angry, you will feel homicidal, suicidal and every other '-cidal' in the book. This will pass I promise. Have extra-strength Advil available at all times.
5) Negotiate.
6) Cost and worth are VERY different
7) Facebook is NOT your friend
8) Your next relationship can't possibly be as bad as the last one; if it is you'll recognize it sooner - sooner than the wedding is optimal.
9) Get the dog
10) Don't hate your ex - it'll cost you; both lawyers will see to that (I totally avoided that one)
11) There is an untold, smug joy that the divorcee gets from watching "Say yes to the dress" and other associated wedding shows that plague television. You can't help but think 'sucker'.
12) Ladies, you will eventually realize that you can hammer, screw and calk just fine - in and out of the bedroom ;)
That's it for now my little divorced dollies. Stay tuned.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Divorce Diary Part 1.1
1) you are only half responsible for the collapse of a marriage - usually.
2) Success or failure is equal parts effort and pure chance
3) BITE-YOUR-TONGUE always
4) Maintaining a professional tone will always help you keep your temper, after all this is now essentially a contract being dissolved albeit a marriage contract. View it as objectively as you would a business matter and it will go a long way to keeping an even temper.
5) As a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn, I think WWAD? She too got a divorce and did so with the utmost grace. I strive to be as she was.
6) You can only count on yourself, which is not a bad thing. Don't count on your friends being there for you or being able to understand what you are going through. Expect mutual friends to distance themselves completely. Everyone has their own lives and your drama is way too much for a third party to handle - unless you are paying them.
7) Keeping a schedule of good sleeping and eating habits will help you cope better.
8) Boxing is by far the best thing to do to let out your frustration. If it helps, paste an 8 x 10 photo of ex-spouse to a speed bag. Not very Zen but who gives a shit? (haven't needed to do this one yet)
Sadly this will not be the last of the divorce diary posts. It is just the beginning. Stay tuned.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Heart on Your Bumper
I spend a lot of time driving, A LOT, my morning commute can range anywhere from 45 minutes to 4 hours (no exaggeration, it happened) and then I repeat it at the end of the day. I'm not sure if I'm more pissed off in the morning anticipating my day to come or at the end of it when I've endured my day and I have to do it again tomorrow. Needless to say when I'm commuting I'm not very perky. I also commit a terrible sin against the environment, I drive, I hate public transit for two reasons - 1) it's unreliable where I live not to mention extremely expensive and 2) I don't want to listen to other people's crap whether on their cellphones talking at rock concert volumes or trying to talk to me about their gastrointestinal issues. I like my solitude. I spend all day everyday talking and listening to people so my commute is me time. Just me and my crap. But wait! There are bumper stickers. Since the drive can't physically talk my ear off, he or she decides to heap their opinions and views on me with a bumper stick which I will spend the better part of my traffic jam staring at.
Just take a look a few of these examples: "I love my Husband" - good for you
"I love my Wife" - aw thats sweet; "My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter" - I thought Jesus' step-father was the carpenter?; "1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 given" - that's clever. The religious ones just make me roll my eyes, that's nice you have faith, good for you. But these ones get my blood boiling: "Aren't you glad your mom was Pro-Life?" - yeah very glad, she got stupid drunk and kicked my ass down the stairs when I was 10, so much better than the abortion part (my mum never did that but some do); "Abortion: Big people killing little people" - ok so should we pull over and debate whether or not a fetus is a person or...?; "Save Social Security - Stop Aborting Future Contributors!" - uh, what guarantee do we have that the kids will get a job versus be still living with you at 40?; Or my all time favorite "It took two to conceive... where's the man's "choice"?" Uh, well does he want to carry it?; And finally this was on the back of a tempo with, I swear 4 kids in the back and one up front "Abortion kills children" - clearly not yours!
It actually gets me upset. I don't have a single bumper sticker on my car for two reasons 1) its tacky and 2) why do you care what I think anyway? I'll bet if I put a sticker on my car that said "my dog is cuter and smarter than your kid" it would offend people, but that's what I think about a lot of people's kids, but it doesn't mean I have to put it on my car.
I guess what I'm really getting at is why not keep your car clean and let everyone enjoy their coffee in peace without turning the highway into a podium for your views. Also have you considered that while people are occupied trying to read what the sticker says they may get distracted? Yep should be illegal.