Things I have learned so far:
1) you are only half responsible for the collapse of a marriage - usually.
2) Success or failure is equal parts effort and pure chance
3) BITE-YOUR-TONGUE always
4) Maintaining a professional tone will always help you keep your temper, after all this is now essentially a contract being dissolved albeit a marriage contract. View it as objectively as you would a business matter and it will go a long way to keeping an even temper.
5) As a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn, I think WWAD? She too got a divorce and did so with the utmost grace. I strive to be as she was.
6) You can only count on yourself, which is not a bad thing. Don't count on your friends being there for you or being able to understand what you are going through. Expect mutual friends to distance themselves completely. Everyone has their own lives and your drama is way too much for a third party to handle - unless you are paying them.
7) Keeping a schedule of good sleeping and eating habits will help you cope better.
8) Boxing is by far the best thing to do to let out your frustration. If it helps, paste an 8 x 10 photo of ex-spouse to a speed bag. Not very Zen but who gives a shit? (haven't needed to do this one yet)
Sadly this will not be the last of the divorce diary posts. It is just the beginning. Stay tuned.
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1 comment:
Blair welcome to the blogging world! although you started long before me I feel like I'm discovering you!
Firstly, I read your heart post, and I have to say that i think you should put more rantings, well maybe not ranting as such but the Divorce Diary type posts. Lists of realisations, things you have learned, I laughed, a light bulb went off in my head, and I laughed again.
Secondly, you are a great writer and I think you should do it more often. I find writing therapeutic, as I'm sure you do, so while being a hermit you may as well participate in self soothing and write on your blog! And then I can read it, feel enlightened, and laugh.
I love you so much, it's amazing to me how strong you are...really. I don't know how mum and dad raised one strong rationally emotional human being, and one strongish non-rationally emotional human, but they did!
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