Boys, please!

This is a little tip for a few of you boys out there. Making clicking noises and kissey faces at women you find attractive will never get you laid! This is the absolute truth, I promise you that. I was in a restaurant today and the "man" (I use that term so very, very loosely) who was the perpetrator of said kissey face complete with clicking noise, was sitting with several of his other male friends. Whether he found me attractive or just wanted to mess with me, I don't know. Either way it was really sad...for him. What am I a f**cking cat!? What in the world possessed this person to think that this action would have a favourable result? Does this actually work on some women? Seriously? "Hey Lori, that guy just called out to me like a cat! I think I'm going to see if I can get his number." That would never, ever happen, unless of course said woman's last meaningful discourse with a man consisted of a spoon and a guy called Hagen Daas.

Please, please, please gentlemen, do not do this, not for me but for your penises! Really boys, it's shameful.