And God Said...

Marriage, ah the final enpoint to feminine completeness! Oh what woman does not dream of her wedding day, to glide down the aisle toward her prince charming, smiling back at her awaiting her to become his wife. This, the very pinnacle of many dreams both for ladies and the commercial wedding machine alike, is an ancient safeguard bastardized into its current romantic incarnation. Any species primary goal is to survive, to eat, sleep and procreate to ensure its progeny survives to procreate yet another generation thus securing the species as a whole. Well that was supposed to be the whole goal of the game of life in its original design. Enter stage right birth control and the sexual revolution and that got all cocked up didn't it? But marriage, through it all has more or less survived such assaults on human evolution. But why?

Eons ago, when men finally realized the link between copulation and human regeneration, they got it - 'if I am to live on in a diluted form I must procreate with a female'. But hold the phone there padre, how do you ensure that it is infact your seed that has created the next generation to succeed yourself and carry your good name forth? Hmm, that's a pickle of a dilemma! 'Well,' man said, 'I simply must stake my claim on this vessel and make her swear fealty to me and me alone and protect (control) her so that I may be sure that the child is mine!' What a plan! Thus, dear ladies marriage was born.

I'm severely oversimplifying here but I'm sure my point is not lost. Once this dynamic was identified a fear crept into mankind as to the penultimate power of women as deceptive, manipulative creatures who held the very continuance of individual male geneaology in their panties or loin cloths - whatever. In order to control someone, as any successful dictator will tell you, you must make the object of your control feel inferior and weak. You must create a dependence in said person. Failing that, create abject fear, shit-your-pants, horrific fear! Enter Genesis 3:16 "...Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Shit! They thought of everything in that granddaddy of a toilet reader didn't they?

Since men had the backing of the creator of heaven and earth women had very little choice but to obey. Would you step up to a being who created the earth just by thinking about it? Yeah I wouldn't either.



So here we are. Throughout the centuries, marriage has been a negotiation tool in business, a salve for loneliness and and means to ensure the continuance of the human race. But hang on a minute - if it takes nine months to bake a child, and one man did that with one woman only that means she can only give a man one child per year! Not great odds pre-modern medicine when infant death rates were any where from 30-50% (guesstimates given poor documentation of the age) that's a fairly crummy average for one couple. While a man had viable sperm from puberty until death, a woman has a finite number of viable eggs. That seems like a whole lotta wasted sperm! So while a man had his wife at home pregnant with what could only be his child, he was still trying to sow his wild oats around ust in case -whether society and the church considered the child a bastard was really immaterial. It was and is a very involved and complex way of a man writing 'I was here' on the world.



Ladies, we are cunning aren't we? I mean if we weren't Victoria's Secrect wouldn't have the business they do right? We hook 'em and cook 'em! For the first little while in the courtship process they never encounter an unshaved leg, a messy bikini line or a make-upless morning. We push our breasts up to gravity defying heights and make them pant for what may lurk for them beneath our carefully crafted outfits. Glamour and Cosmo magazine fill in the rest of the blanks. I'm not ashamed to admit that, while I don't hide my true inner self, my outer self is dramatically transformed from the puffy, hairy, almost androgenous train wreck it can be on a Saturday morning to near goddess perfection (well, I'd like to think so after all that work!) by Saturday night. Yes, we are temptresses. It's all about the game people!



And so to my point. Marriage, once an arena for business ventures and basic human propagation has been tranformed into romantic love worthy of every crappy Hallmark card on offer for a mere $6.95. It's a total bait and switch tactic, start with the flowers and candles and end up with an extra 30 pounds and baby vomit down your now saggy boobs. Then, the man that sat rapt with attention for every word that spilled from your perfectly glossed pout, can barely muster enough attention when you bellow at him to take out the trash (and secretly hopes he saddles up on the curb with it). To my mind, centuries have transformed a straight forward business contract into an impossible romantic coupling. Can you imagine transforming your boss into your life partner? Eww! These days divorce is at an all time high. Why? In my not-so-humble opinion, it's because we now have this Cinderella bullshit romance to measure up to and we end up feeling like utter failures when we can't get it up for the man who we just finished scrubbing shit stains out of his underwear for! Did Cinderella do THAT!? Doubt it.



When a relationship is forced into a mold that it was never supposed to fit into in the first place, that's when fractures occur. Try it with a piece of pottery next time. You'll see.

"I just want to be loved"

Hey ladies! Dante Moore wants us to be Re-Educated!

Dante Moore's recently released tome "The Re-education of Women" has attracted a lot of ire from women. He says that his book will teach women to get and keep a man. That's fair. His advice is shit but fair. It's his point of view, and maybe those of a select group of men that can't figure women out and have given up trying. So, Mr. Moore, here's the straight goods from me (my resume DOES contain marriage by the way). Women love to please their men especially in the early days of a new relationship. We'll try almost anything to entice you and perform a near flawless mating dance for you that will keep you entranced. If you notice us wearing sweats more and more, gaining weight at an unbelieveable pace and storing the make-up, well friend, we're losing interest. You've stopped making an effort and now so have we. Show me a woman (barring any hormonal influence) who would curl up in ugly sweats and sneakers when her man turns up proffering a nice dinner out and a great bottle of wine. She doesn't exist.

Let's turn this around a bit. The following is not fiction. A woman makes sure she always looks fabulous on the arm of her man. She makes sure she looks decent even when she's ill. Not because she feels she has to in order to keep her man but because she enjoys it. He, on the other hand has quickly declined from a fit, adventurous man to sitting in front of the tube, swilling booze and watching T.V. Gentlemen, according to Mr. Moore, if you won't take us out and appreciate our efforts, some bro around the corner will (to turn Mr. Moores colloquialism around from 'broad').

So the moral of the story, dear reader, is that while pandering to your man (or woman) will keep them around for a while, it won't keep them indefinitely. What makes it work is the meeting of two people more or less in the middle. Feed off of each other. Monkey see monkey do. You see him making an effort to be fit and look good, you make the same effort. If she suggests a new, fun thing to do, try it and then she will try to come up with the next fun thing to do. This is idealistic but a good recipe to try to follow. Its really kind of simple if you think about it.

There you have it and I didn't charge $14 for it.

Aborted Politics

In both Canadian and American politics within the campaigns of conservative/republican candidates it seems that women's right to choose has once again become the religious vote lock in. Roe vs Wade took place 35 years ago and still this is a major topic on the political agenda. Conservative men seem to be uncomfortable with women being given the ultimate decision-to continue their line or prevent its propagation. For 35 years, this has stuck in the sides of men. Nothing bothers me that much to attempt an overturn for over a quarter century.

Abortion is a touchy subject even among women in living rooms and cafes. We too are divided. I don't hide my views, I am steadfastly pro-choice. This automatically paints a picture in conservative minds of a child hating, promiscuous whore baby killer. Not true. I adore children, and using abortion as a form of birth control is irresponsible to say the least. What seems to escape the general populace is that the decision to have an abortion is not one akin to having ones nails done. 'to do today, get mani-pedi, buy bread, abort fetus', not so simple and casual. This decision comes fraught with anxiety, fear, regret, remorse and sadness, in varying combinations and severity of emotion. I know women who have had an abortion for whatever reason and they all wish they didn't have to but all admit that they are glad they made that decision. Pro-lifers would have them painted as hussy's that wanted to shirk responsibility and the inconvenience of child bearing and rearing. I fully disagree, as I have witnessed as many no doubt do daily, clear examples of shit parents. These children of said shit parents are treated like the unwanted beings they are. Their parents aren't resigned to loving them and caring for them now that their here but simply deign to have them around. Harsh but true.

In Levitt and Dubner's "Freakonomics" released in hardback in 2005, they link the reduction in violence in major cities not to the increased police presence but to abortion. Those who would have had children in less that ideal circumstances, were not. What about birth control? the pro-lifers say. How could you be so irresponsible? Life is so rarely that black and white. There are many circumstances in which birth control fails. Abstinence is a farcical 'solution' to the problem of an unwanted pregnancy. We are sexual beings. The husband and wife take comfort in sex during a difficult financial time or period of illness and end up pregnant despite their best efforts to prevent it. The time is not just inconvenient, it is unacceptable to bring a child into. The couple dating who experience an unwanted pregnancy who aren't ready for marriage, etc. I could give a novel of a list of reasons for abortion to be sought, and to each one an equally good argument could be had. Why don't they just suck it up and have the child? why not give it up for adoption? etc. All very easy to say, completely different to do. Why not get married? Have the child, the marriage isn't working and the money isn't coming in, no for the cute outfit at Baby Gap but for the 25 cent jar of baby food. Then the husband, in such despair over his situation begins drinking. At the same time so too begins the beatings. Fighting and divorce ensue. The child is now five years old and her first exposure to a "loving couple" has been the nightly beatings her mother got. True story folks.

Whatever the reasons (I beg the reader's pardon for my lengthy tirade) for abortion, it needs to stay legal and available to women. We will find a way, legal or no, as our fore-mothers did. Abortion as a politic agenda should be forever put to bed and left alone. Women must have the right to choose, and will exercise that right like it or lump it. If the conservatives are so very bothered by it, close the door to your walnut panelled study and pour yourself a brandy. Ivory towers rarely see far enough to witness suffering anyway.

Fur-get it

I have a confession-I am an incurable Vogue, Elle, Harpers Bazaar, fashion magazine addict. It is my porn mag. I hide this fact behind my current copy of the Great Gatsby and The Prosecution of George Bush for Murder. I decry their significant in my library infront of fellow bibliophiles but they are, nonetheless, my dirty, guilty, secret pleasure. A Saturday afternoon, a brand new Vogue and a glass of wine is my favorite escape. That said, I was disappointed and, frankly appalled when I saw a chinchilla coat featured in one of the pages.



I have three chinchillas. They are as smart (if not more) than my dog, they are sweet and trainable. I could no more wear dog fur as I could chinchilla. The method of destroying these animals is equally disturbing. I found this out when I unwittingly bought a guide to chinchilla health authored by a chinchilla farmer. She was and is an authority on chinchilla rearing, though my motives were much, much different. I can't recount here the method in which these lovely animals are dispatched, its too emotional for me. I am not a strict vegan, I love my Cole Haan leather purse, I don`t pontificate on the use of animals for food or clothing. A cow is killed and the meat is used for food. The skin is used for clothing. In the end the whole animal is used. I have plenty of vegan friends that would disagree with my rationale however, it is a fact. To create a chinchilla hat, for example, you require at least eight animals - EIGHT!- to make a hat. For a car coat at least 150 animals. They are small and the whole pelt is not used for clothing, only the dorsal portion, the belly fur being discarded due to colour and texture. The meat cannot be used, it is too muscular and sparse. I`ve never seen chinchilla on a menu even in the most progressive, outrageous restaurants. The chinchilla only looks large because their fur is long, but their bodies are quite slim and lithe.



I carry on about chinchillas because I am the joyful owner of three but my rant extends to all other animals which are destroyed solely for their pelts. We don`t need fur. Fur looks great and a beautiful fur bolero finishes off any outfit for winter. However, textile technology has progressed to such an extent that faithful reproductions can be made that only the designer themselves would be able to discern as an imposter. And seriously, if anyone approaches you and proceeds to pet your coat-they owe you a dinner.

Can we all stop using fur? I personally think that unless you're a mob moll from 1935, fur had its time as an emblem of luxury. If you want to display overt luxury and an 'I have more money than sense' aura, buy a conflict free diamond. Now there's a statement.

Vincent Bugliosi - my hero without a cape

This post is an addendum to my previous post dated August 05, as I have continued to read through Mr. Bugliosi's book.

Mr. Bugliosi has presented fact upon fact that the Bush administration has deliberately and knowingly lied to the American people to further their agenda. I'm not sure what that sour taste is in my mouth, the lies the American government told or the ease with which the American people bought into such lies. I remember thinking while casually following the developing war campaign in Iraq 'how could such a financially poor country purchase such large quantities of Uranium?' I knew Hussain was indeed rich but a dictator doesn't become so by putting his own money into WMD construction. In a country where more people vote for their American Idol and purchase more US and People magazines than they do The New York Times, can we expect anything more.

My opinions matter little since I am not American (thankfully) however I do resent the fact that Canadian Soldiers are being deployed for "peace keeping" missions. They are still killed by roadside bombs and insurgents. One cannot honestly blame the insurgents or even civilians that throw stones or fire weapons at soldiers. Would you not do the same had your husband, brother, sister or even child been wounded or killed as a result of the war? I watch as a good friend of mine re-reads the last letter her friend sent her before being killed in a "friendly fire", sadness glazing over her eyes. He was young, vibrant and healthy, killed by American cowboys bent on being heroes instead of heeding orders from their commanding office.

Is everyone asleep? When the first friendly fire occurred I was outraged! I railed against it in my overbearing and opinionated way, and was met with down turned eyes and weak shrugging shoulders. Friendly fire in and of itself is an oxymoron, like saying kind evil or happy sadness. It is ludicrous.

This war has lined the already bulging pockets of a few select fat cats and left thousands, thousands!, with ruined lives. I have the privilege of secondhand insight into the ravages of war through a close friend. I have listened quietly, rapt with attention as my friend recounts the Gulf War and his escape. The sad fact is, he is not the only one I have listened to tell such tales. To listen to these stories, one must truly listen and feel the pain and anxiety to full appreciate it.

What have the American people given up for this war they were so in favor of? World War II brought wide spread rationing of supplies and in some countries,compulsory surrender of all metals, yes even your wedding ring, for the war effort. Had the American people been told "hey we need to go to war to fight the TERRORISTS! Uh but you gotta hand over that SUV and oh the plasma T.V's gotta go too...war effort n' all" American's would have shit themselves, and put their fat foot down, 'no way man!' But onward Christian soldiers, you can keep your gas guzzlin' SUV, your T.V, your Kentucky Fried Chicken, and your kids can still go to soccer practice. You can listen to your satellite radio, watch American Idol, American Gladiator, American programming at its best. Your life is unchanged. If the war were to cease tomorrow, there would be no parade or kissing in the streets, mobs would not pile into Times Square to watch the coverage on T.V. Hell you may not even know about for several days or weeks. Precisely because you have not been affected in any way. Unless you are a mother in Michigan whose only son came back in a box in "un-viewable" condition, and you now have to deal with the heart pulverizing loss of your flesh and blood along with the foreclosure on your house that you couldn't make payments on from your wages at the local Wal-Mart. The congressmen's kids are currently tooling around town in their brand new Mercedes-Benz. They didn't need to enlist to get college money. Daddy found some in the couch.

Why, you ask, does this small town Canadian feel so angry? I'm angry because bullshit has always pissed me off. I'm not anti-war. I'm anti-war without reason. If country A is going to bomb the crap out of my country, yes I want to prevent it. If Country A has something my country wants, talk it out boys! I am by no means fractionally as intelligent or current as Mr. Bugliosi but my parents did a decent job of giving me some common sense. And by that I live. My common sense tells me that this war, this current American government administration, and American people are full of shit.

Wake up people. It's not too late.
(This is by far my longest post and rambles terribly but hey, it's my blog after all)

Crime and Punishment

The war in Iraq has claimed many lives both those in service and civilians under siege in their rural and previously quiet villages. It is a war that, in general agreement, is totally superfluous and without foundation. Even in my smallish city in Ontario several kilometers outside Toronto, I know people who bear wounds from this war.

Vincent Bugliosi, LLB in his most recent published work "The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder" wages his own well thought out and masterful war on the current American president. My first question is "Is George Bush really the mastermind behind this mass murder?" I myself suppress a snicker at my question's use of the word "mastermind" and "Bush" in the same sentence. I somehow feel a small degree of pity for the man who, like the imbecile child has been manipulated into delinquency by his intellectual betters (Rumsfeld, Cheney et al), though by no means misunderstand my phraseology of misdemeanor in relation to the war.

My second question is, is this really the first time the American government has used manipulation and frank lies to initiate war (Pearl Harbor ring a bell) ? Can we persecute one without all who are guilty? It seems to me, and I'm certain most of the rational thinking and literate public, that Bush is a mere puppet to those who have had this planned long before Bush had sobered up from his last college bender.

But for the sake of argument and simplicity lets say this was his idea all along (pause for laughter) and he orchestrated the war in Iraq (for which he would be hard pressed to located on a map of the world), is he personally liable for damages caused to the service men and women and civilians alike or is his government also equally liable? And lets say that any one of the states that has suffered the loss of one of their own, that is to say all of them, were to bring forth legal proceedings against him/his government, what would his penalty be? Life imprisonment? Death? Financial remuneration? None of these hold any possibility due to varying penal procedures in each state. The jurisdiction logistics alone would take decades to tease out.

As much as I would love to see ol' Bush in a Texas chain gang digging road side pits, this dream shall never be. The truth, dear reader, is that he will quietly slink away from office at the end of this term to a quiet ranch in back water Texas (the man will never leave America, dumb as he is he is well aware of the price on his head. Also you have to know that France is in Europe to actually go there) only likely to be heard from again in twenty years when some distant relation with a publishing grant will write some watery tripe about the puppet president. He will retire with his decent pension and beloved dog(s).

So, my final thought (did I hear someone say 'finally!!' ?), is press on dear Bugliosi esq., though your vision is certainly a Utopian one, it does fail to inspire hope that at least one person had the stones to say what everyone thinks but was always too scared or too stupid to say. Here's to you. Cheers.

Feminine Mistake?

To preface this post I must clarify my position, or rather, in the absence of my own defined position at least explain my current standing. I am neither pro- nor anti-feminism as I feel each brings forth its own set of arguably good points. I believe women should function in the professional world to the same standards with the same remuneration as our male colleagues. On strictly biological terms, this is not possible. Where men will discuss, argue and ultimately resolve on a strictly objective level, we women tend to not only tackle the situation at hand but also the underlying issue(s) driving the situation i.e. colleague conflict. This is neither better nor worse, simply a difference of approach.

On the home front, I was raised in an equal roles home. Both parents worked, one cooked the other cleaned, one bathed the children while the other put them to bed. When one parent was overwrought with work or other life stresses the other parent would pick up the slack. Any other way is foreign to me. So, in a nut shell, I am all for equality. I believe in the core tenet as discussed by Betty Friedan in her widely popular book "The Feminine Mystique" which propounded the view that women could be fulfilled outside of the wife and mother roles historically considered the only acceptable roles for women.

But have we come that far from the June Cleaver era? Have we, in our search for equality pushed ourselves into a new, and ultimately impossible paradigm of wofe, mother, successful business woman and all around superwoman? If a woman devotes her life to her career she is considered a robot, a slave to the dollar and "the life". If she decides to stay home and raise her child she is considered a "Stepford Wife". If she decides to take on the two roles simultaneously she's, well insane and bound to burn out. As much as women have tried over the centruries to find our own voice, it seems that we have inadvertantly begun to drown in the din of our own war cries. We want to do it all, while men still carry on quid pro quo. And who can blame them? They no longer have the stress of being sole bread winner, they can come home on time, take the weekend off and maybe even golf on Friday afternoons.

Also in our bid to create gender equality, we have confused the opposite sex. They don't know how we'll take it if they pick up the bill on a date, or hold the door, or attempt to order us a drink. We bitch about the death of chivalry but just as quickly give them the stink eye when they even attempt to treat us as less than one of the guys.

In the end women have made great strides to make our voices heard in the world, to break away from the kitchen and make a difference across all areas of the business world. At the same time the dating landscape has been changed forever and chivalry may still exist however it will definately take a strong man to look another strong woman in the eye as he challengingly seizes the cheque from the dinner table.

Oh man oh man

I live vicariously through my single friends who are navigating this shit-hole called dating. Not one of them is content. Excited? yes, thrilled? sometimes, frustrated? Definately!! Through listening to their stories, both men and women, I come to the conclusion that neither has any idea about the other. The woman feels played, the man petrified by the women's projections, perceived or real. Women, my approach has always, rightly or wrongly, been very forward. This may be my capricious youth or my Aries nature but I found that it cleared up a lot of crap before it piled up. It freaks men out when you say "ok, what's the deal? Are we or aren't we?" Life is too short and I found that after the initial excitment of the mating dance, my feet got tired. I wanted to know if my energies were worth it. I know I put everything into it to make it work, but I want confirmation that my efforts are futile.
Men, we aren't all psycho wife and mothers in training, hoping with all hope that you will put a ring on our finger and knock us up so we can strap you down and make you miserable. A lot of us just want someone to go to a museum with, drink beer with, watch soccer with. We're annoying at times, we whine, we get pissed off at thing s that may seem trivial to you. One word on that - hormones. We really don't want to be crazy, bloated bags of hormones and fully agree we're insane but it only lasts a week or so, so suck it up buttercup and deal with it. After all the other three weeks ain't half bad.
If we didn't play games, dating would be clean, stress free and easy. Of course love songs would cease to exist or hold any relativity.
What if you told a woman "hey I actually feel like crap this week and just want to get laid" some will slap you and storm off, others would say " yeah me too! Let's get er done!" Then if you fall for someone tell him/her.
I look at the dating culture and reach for the Valium. You need to be sedated to go through this shit. Until then, wanna see a movie?

Diana & Dodi

I have read the Dominic Dunne article in the recent (May 2008) issue of Vogue regarding the inquest into the deaths of Dodi Al Fayed and Princess Diana, over ten years after their untimely death. The article rehashes all of the well known and lesser known 'facts' of what happened on the night of August 31, 1997 in Paris. Many facets of both their lives come into question and are held up to the bright lights of the London court room for speculation. Was DIana pregnant? Was she in love with Dodi? Did Dodi have a jilted American fiancee? My only question throughout the whole article was 'who cares?' Their deaths were tragic and many people close to them continue to feel the void they left. No amount of speculation regarding their relationship status, previous relationships, pregnancy, or marriage prospects is going to change the inescapable fact that they are dead. Dianas children I'm sure would like the issue to rest. To have their mother's last few months dragged out under the microscope must be terribly painful.
As for Dodi's father who continues to force the 'conspiracy theory' rightly or wrongly does a terribly injustice to his son's memory. No doubt he believes the theory that Diana and Dodi's deaths were planned and carried out on orders from the Royal family, but to fight to prove or disprove it is prolonging everyone's pain, a metaphorical picking of a scab.

The fact of the matter is is that they died. It was a terrible tragedy. A father should never bury his child and two young sons should not have to live without their mother. But it happened and no amount of speculation will change that.

It has been over ten years since their deaths. It is well passed due to let them rest in peace.

Today's Rant

1) The next male doctor who hands me a file thinking I'm "the secretary" will get an upper cut to the jaw

2) Please, please, PLEASE, stop rubber necking on the highway at accidents. If it's not a naked model from a Calvin Klein add throwing money at cars I;m just not interested

3) Driving + Crackberry texting = your a 'tard

4) Prefacing every question with "can I ask you a question?" - what, like another one?

5) Please leave a message - it's that simple, not call back 16 times clogging my voicemail with your hangups

6) In line at the gas station at peak hours checking e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e lottery ticket you have saved up since 1998

7) Taking so long at the cafteria ATM at 1215 pm when I now have 10 minutes left for lunch that I begin to think you are doing the company payroll

8) Move up when you are done with the drive through order window. Don't be that guy who sits one car length away thereby preventing me from getting close enough to order. I can't be held responsible for my actions prior to coffee consuption. Fair warning.

9) Thats actualy it - I think (hey cheaper than therapy!)

Boys, please!

This is a little tip for a few of you boys out there. Making clicking noises and kissey faces at women you find attractive will never get you laid! This is the absolute truth, I promise you that. I was in a restaurant today and the "man" (I use that term so very, very loosely) who was the perpetrator of said kissey face complete with clicking noise, was sitting with several of his other male friends. Whether he found me attractive or just wanted to mess with me, I don't know. Either way it was really sad...for him. What am I a f**cking cat!? What in the world possessed this person to think that this action would have a favourable result? Does this actually work on some women? Seriously? "Hey Lori, that guy just called out to me like a cat! I think I'm going to see if I can get his number." That would never, ever happen, unless of course said woman's last meaningful discourse with a man consisted of a spoon and a guy called Hagen Daas.

Please, please, please gentlemen, do not do this, not for me but for your penises! Really boys, it's shameful.

Who's Image is it Anyway?

Bare with me, I'm on a religion kick. I'm having a brief literary affair with Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. I'm sure it will end soon. However until then, here goes.

A lot of religions out there, Christian religions especially, have the obnoxious view that they hold the one and only truth, the One True God. Homosexuals, infidels (Islam extremists I'm looking your way) and heretics should die and go to hell. They are sub-human and unworthy of the truth, the light and the love of God or Allah or whatever. So, following the lead of the Evangelicals, and I quote the Bible "Let us make man in our own image, after our likeness; and let them have stewardship over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth" (Gen. 1:26-28). I have read this over and over, I have gone one page before it and one page after, just in case it said "so kids this one is for the Catholics/Jews/Islam etc." I went to Catholic school people so I do have some idea regarding the Bible, having it crammed down your throat every day for thirteen years will give you a bit of familiarity.

So having quoted Genesis, can anyone tell me who God was making in his image? Could it be just the Catholics? Or maybe just straight people? If that's true then those wily homos have done a great job of going around looking like us straight people! If certain religions want to hide behind the Bible/Qu'ran/Torah (whatever) they must take THE WHOLE THING, not just the bits and pieces that suit their agenda. So back to God making man in His image (by the way, if we take the Bible literally, then us chicks are screwed!), I think that in lieu of specification, one must assume that the Bible is saying all (wo)man regardless of religion, race or sexual orientation.

My final word to all those who persecute others different from themselves, what makes you think that you or your religion is so damn special that the truth is yours alone? Wake up and smell the hypocrisy! Every man, woman and child is made in His image. Persecute them and you persecute the Lord. Think about that the next time you judge.

Preaching over!

Common Sense in the USA - MIA

Lately I have been reading a lot of the newest books debunking religion and God. I haven't completely weighed in on everything yet, for me to discard the notion of my God would almost be like no longer brushing my teeth every day. Its been with me since I was a child. I was raised relatively secular with the most religious thing thrown around in my house was "do to others what you would have them do to you" translation be nice. When we did go to church it felt forced, unnatural, I remember my mum kneeling in prayer and while she did her best to act natural, she still seemed like she was wearing cold, wet underwear. It never seemed natural to me either.

I have always felt really uncomfortable with ultra religious people. I feel like they all see me as deluded, like a parent watching a clueless child explain the logistics of Santa Claus on Christmas eve. Take for example Creationist vs Darwinian theory of evolution. Most of the Bible Belt in the US believe in creationism, that we appeared from Adam and Eve and we are now as we were then. I personally don't buy this, that Noah but everything two by two onto an ark and saved the world as we now know it. If that were so, every single animal would have either become genetically mutated to the point that they would be no more than a puddle with eyes or die out entirely (think Hapsburg line).

As for the Darwinian theory it kind of makes sense. How can you dispute the discovery of bones found that show though humans looked markedly different millions of years ago, we stood up straight and walked, there is even evidence that they spoke. In the face of such compelling evidence the creationists scoff, and hold up an overly translated book as proof positive. Remember that game Telephone that you may have played as a child? After 10 people the story's unrecognizable from the original, so what do you think happened after 2000 years?

These same religious fanatics who believe in Noah's Ark, Jesus resurrecting from the dead etc., would call you insane if you said you saw something like a ghost or a spirit, or that you believed God sent messages to some people through their dreams. So as I understand it, only one small group of people in history were allowed magical powers and the rest of us peasants are supposed to read about it and believe it and tithe to the institutions that represent these magical beings. If you oversimplify it becomes kind of ludicrous.

I don't mean to make fun or offend anyone, I just want to point out the hypocrisy that surrounds fanaticism. I don't want to throw out the beliefs of religion, what I do want is for people of a strong religious bent to be tolerant and open minded to alternative explainations of our being. Believing in scientific findings for the theory of evolution does not mean that you turn your back on your religion, or your God(s). You can have yur cake and eat it too.

So I forgot my password...

This is a continuation of my previous blog "Just a Thought". I wrestled with my login and password resetting etc for an hour, gave up and decided to start a new one. I encourage you to read my previous posts at http://arnold-eitzen.blogspot.com/.