Just another Thought

Disenchantment is an Understatement

2010-11-04T22:37:00.002-04:00

As I get older I find that I am completely apathetic about the state of the world today. I am not speaking just to my comfortable suburb with the vapid, ignorant, and wasted cohorts, but in each and every country, province and hamlet on the globe.

My one true passion, medicine, has become an object of hatred. I am disgusted with "Health Care" in the 21st century. There is a pill for everything. Piss too much? pill for that; piss too little? pill for that too; penis as flaccid as overcooked asparagus? they have that one covered entirely-much to the chagrin of every wife who thought that with her husbands impotency she had escaped the ritual of being used merely as a masturbation tool, and accepted 'pass me a beer will ya babe?' as foreplay. This does not come from bitterness. I take more pills than the average 90 year old, and my sex life is...well suffice to say I am smiling. In less than ten years in health care, I witnessed the black locust cloud of consumerism and profitability infiltrate what used to be a relatively noble profession. If I had wanted to attend budget meeting and fill out capital application forms, I certainly wouldn't have chosen health care. I would have acquired an MBA and slutted myself out to some Finance company with a decent benefit package and a lovely cubicle. Everyone is for sale. When was the last time anyone met someone that they would describe as 'honorable' or 'noble'? New physicians nowadays are patsy's for the "Big Pharma", nevermind that Mr. Smith lives on a pension, lets prescribe a pill that costs triple what he's on now and works half as well. I left health care shaking my head. Long gone is the naive twenty-something who believes that a hospital is a place of healing, care and compassion. Disenchanted doesn't begin to describe it.

This is the world now. Everyone needs money to survive, unless where you live happens to still use the bartering system; money is not my issue, it's the ravenous hunger for bigger and bigger profit margins, the desensitization of the masses to corruption; a politician lining his pockets or a department manager scoring a huge year end bonus when her staff all received pay cuts barely registers a cocked eyebrow these days. Enron has become a catchphrase. It's all about the money.

I don't really have a decent solution - just venting I suppose. Besides, in today's world if you really want to change things, you'd best find a sh*t load of cash.

Taking Chances

2010-07-23T03:29:00.002-04:00

Have you ever thought of doing something, something fantastic or even mundane? Did you roll the thought through your head twisting it this way and that before dismissing it roundly from your mind? I am impetuous by nature, impulsive to a fault (on most things anyway), but I have done the same, we all have. Accepting an invite to a party for example, has thrown me into serious internal debate, do I? Don't I? I have work to do sooo... I won't go - well maybe for an hour...

Taking a chance, whether small or great, can bestow the best of life's gifts. The best thing that ever happened to me, happened at a gathering I wasn't planning to attend. Seems like an inconsequential chance to take but in taking that chance, my life was upended and has never been the same.

Because I took that chance (wait for it - it's a love story) I met the love of my life. For this man, this love, I have conquered both internal and external summits, have surprised myself with what I am able to do. I have also been surprised by the love I have received; it is the stuff of chick flicks - but better.

It has made me look at life very differently, how things happen to align in such a way that the path we had originally set upon becomes entirely different as we travel along. I never believed in fate, destiny, not to the extent as I have witnessed it. I had believed that destiny was a quaint scapegoat for the pitfalls of life and to act as a salve to explain away why someone else has the life you want. I don't recognize my life now, after the first chance meeting from a chance decision, I have taken bigger and bigger chances in life some so large that I have shocked myself.

The moral of this story, dear friends, is that if you have an inkling to pursue something (or someone), give pause to the fact that the inkling came from somewhere, somewhere that may have a better idea than your conscious mind does. Believe it or not even the smallest chance can be overlooked; you may be embarking on the biggest adventure of your life!

Too many things to think about this week...

2010-07-11T23:36:00.004-04:00

Since a recent injury has rendered me all but totally useless, my daily consumption of books, magazines, hell, the ingredients list on a jar of cheese dip (its not really cheese in case you were wondering), has exponentially increased. A recent issue of Macleans provided enough fodder to boil my blood as too did the recent issues of Vanity Fair and Marie Clare (of all things).
So, to provide the top articles topics that boiled my blood - nay - incinerated it, are the following:

1) Honor Killings in the USA
2) G20 and G8 Summits
3) Saudi Arabian Vacation feat. Maureen Dowd (love her - Saudi not so much)
4) BP oil spill (I don't have the strength to go there tonight)

I will start with the honor killings. I'm sure unless you live in a yurt somewhere in northern Canada and are deaf, you heard about the killing of Mississauga, ON teen Aqsa Parvez in December 2007 by her father and brother for failing to wear a hijab, a head scarf commonly worn by Muslims to supposedly adhere to the edict from the Prophet (PBUH - so I don't get my head cut off...) to dress modestly (ahem). I'll start off by questioning the wisdom of travelling to one of the most liberal countries in the world and expect to adhere to the edicts from 'back home'. I know plenty of Muslim women who dress modestly without wandering around looking like they have a perpetual head injury - I'm sorry if this is inflammatory however to my mind in this country at least, it only serves to bring greater attention to these women. They stick out. My head swerves when I see a woman dressed in a floor length tweed coat and black hijab in the middle of July in 90 degree weather versus a scantily clad woman - which one would you like to sit closer to on a crowded bus? I agree with French president Nicolas Sarkozy - this is a country where we don't dress like this. If I were to travel to, say, Riyadh what are the chances I could move about in shorts and a tank top without being arrested or harassed? Slim or none? Hijabs are donned when an aircraft enters Saudi airspace, never mind waiting until getting to your hotel! So why is it then that people come here and are not expected to conform to our society? 'Religious freedom!' they all scream. Yes, very true. But if I were to gouge the eye out of the man who poked me in the eye whilst riding the bus and said to the judge 'but your honor, it says so in the Bible! An eye for an eye', I would surely be escorted to the nearest jail cell to carry out a short term for assault.
An honor killing (not just carried out by Iranian and Iraqi Muslims) is the elimination of a family member - 99.9% of the time a woman - who has in some way, to varying degrees "disgraced the family". This can range from a mild flirtation with an unrelated male, to sex before marriage or (gasp) a rumor that she has a boyfriend! These accusations, whether real or imagined, whip the family into a frenzy that can drive them to desperate measures, namely the murder of the female to "preserve the family honor". This translates to how the 'community' views the family's integrity. Well, I have some sad news for the over zealous and over proud families out there concerned about their 'honour' - listen closely now - here in North America WE-DON'T-GIVE-A-SHIT! We are all too busy trying to make money to feed our kids so that they have enough energy to play soccer then go to bed early so mum and dad can have some languid sex before passing out and doing it all over the next day. What you and your family does, doesn't concern me or mine in the least. To drive my point home, your daughter can shoot up on your driveway then hump her boyfriend for hours and I won't bat an eyelid; so long as its not on my lawn I don't care!
And a final word here on the blatant misogyny of this whole issue is this; these "Muslim" men who are so concerned with having their daughters and wives' adhere to the Koran and the Prophet are the same men that ogle white women on the street with their tight jeans and flowing hair, who gamble in the casinos (definitely clearly delineated as again Islam), have mortgages (again a no-no its called usury) and entertain themselves in the local whorehouse (conveniently the Koran is a bit vague on this one).
'Gentlemen' (for lack of a synonym - used extremely loosely), before you can fix someone else's shit, best make sure yours is still standing - just saying.

I don't have the energy to address my other grievances therefore, until next time...

How Pure the Little Girls Are

2010-05-28T00:02:00.003-04:00

I have often wondered what I would say to a daughter, if I am ever blessed enough to have one, when she begins to grow into a young woman. Would I follow my parents example - which is a good model to follow or go a bit further, a bit more graphic. I have followed political policies on women for quite some time. There is a common thread whether it be regarding sex, pro-choice vs pro-life or access to contraceptives. The common thread is this; as women we can now become surgeons, pilots or scientists just to name a few opportunities that have opened up to us, but when it comes to our reproductive health we need man, particularly in the form of government policy to take our collective hands and show us the way - their way. If I were to subscribe to a personal view it would be pro-choice. I know better than anyone what is good for me and my life. If I need contraceptive because having 20 children is not my idea of fun (not all of us can write our properties off as `places of worship`) and I really, really enjoy sex with my partner, I am smart enough to decide this for myself. If I want a child but not the man that usually comes with that package, I reserve the right to become artificially inseminated. I also reserve the right to not give two shits about what any ones judgement may be on my decisions because at the end of the day, the have their bed to lie in and I have mine.
Policy makers start small. Pre Roe vs. Wade that `small` thing was calling abortion murder and making it illegal to seek or deliver such a therapy. We won that one. But that didn`t stop the policy makers, oh no they are a persistent bunch to say the least. One councillor in Virginia proposed the following:
Women who miscarry MUST report the fetal death within 12 hours or face a possible 12 months in prison. The details of this proposed (it got yanked off the table) bill can be found at this link. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x1481676
This was proposed by a man, a man who had never delivered a 3 month old fetus into a toilet, who never felt a child growing inside get ripped from his body, and who never will. But in addition to this traumatic experience, he expected a woman to report it and undergo questioning that would rival a murder trial. Why. Who does this benefit. This is a prime example of men gone wild. When did men become the gate keepers to female sexuality. I am not referring to a decision whether or not to abort being decided between the parties involved - that should be between those who made that child - I am referring to the ability for a woman to decide her and her children`s course without interference from policy. Do some women abuse this freedom, definitely, that said we can`t throw the baby out with the bath water (pun intended). Most women do make sound choices that benefit all involved, and in the event they do not, who are we as society and policy makers to comment.
My point (yes there is one) is that I would teach my daughter how to critically think situations through. How to rotate a situation and view it from all angles. Cause and effect. Arm her with all the education to make those choices and, better yet, by providing this education prevent her from needing to make the really difficult ones. In the end she may decide to abort a child conceived unwanted, or she may have 10 children or none. These are the things I feel a well informed woman can handle just fine without policy and penalty being enacted. There are laws against theft. Do people steal - of course but most don`t.
Gentlemen of the senate, parliament etc., our women, your women, all women are not to be feared as juvenile half wits in need of guidance. We are mothers, wives, professionals, and moreover soulful people who are able to decide our own path. Allow us that basic human right, nay basic God given right (Deuteronomy 30:11 and Luke 6:46 to reference a few for all you bible thumpers out there) to exercise our free will and personal reflection without reprisals.
Ladies, we must not let policy be shackled to our wombs, do not allow government to control our bodies, our minds or our hearts. We have come so far, this is the home stretch.

The Big V

2010-03-01T21:19:00.003-05:00

I have written about this before - virginity - although I'm quite at a loss to describe what it is. I am not alone. Many books and articles have been written about this subject and what confounds me is why society is still obsessed with it in the 21st century. When this subject is brought up I personally feel that we are debating the virtues of corsets and bustles. Antiquated. In the last 20 years there seems to be a resurgence of virginity crusades from Purity Balls, where a girl as young as 5 years old pledges her virginity to be protected by her father until she marries (a little creepy) to abstinence only programs (a petrie dish for a new generation of AIDS and other STI recipients). My question still is 'why?' How can this benefit our society? Why is a woman's purity even a subject after women's lib? Why is a man's purity never mentioned? So here it is, a girl gets married as a virgin while her new husband 'sowed his wild oats' a la Old Testament. Neither has received proper information on contraception or safe sex and BAM! He's given her a funk STI and she's knocked up before the honeymoon is over and neither one has a clue how to handle the situation. They got married at 19 because the blue balls was crippling the guy and she just couldn't hear anymore of his whining about it. I'm generalizing I know but this isn't unrealistic. My parents didn't do the whole 'wait until marriage' spiel. They advocated informed decisions, action-and-consequence, and sex as a sacred expression between loving partners (at least at the outset). Lo and behold, neither of their daughters were sexually active while in high school. Their teachings rang true and taught us to make a sound choice. There is a pervasive fear that one's daughter will become a trollop while still cutting her teeth in the world, taking many men to her bed until no one wants her and she's end up an old, lonely, slut. If that isn't the Bogey man of all tales to tell one's daughter I don't know what is. Also, in the case of this Purity Ball crap, the parents are essentially saying to their daughter 'you are only an acceptable woman if you get married', not to mention extremely sexually frustrated until you do. With youthful hormones raging, this can be a recipe for a disastrous marriage made not with a sound mind but driven by a libido in overdrive. Can I hold up for the jury Exhibit A - Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. She daddy's little virgin, he really effing horny; flash two years later and divorce. Now what? Do we have to wait until marriage again or because the horse has been let out of the gate no one is too worried about how many cars get parked in her garage. Well, now here's a problem. She has no idea what a condom is or how to properly use one, never mind the pill. These were completely unnecessary in the bridal bed.
Virginity is a concept that was originally used as assurance that a man's line would not be contaminated with another man's seed. You knew the little filly you just bought and bedded was carrying some other guy's bastard child which would make you the laughing stock and jeopardize the family fortune. Here in the 21st century this isn't a concern. Two of man's greatest items - birth control and DNA testing people! In a world where girls and women have more than enough body issues and self doubt on the precipice of their dawning adulthood, do we need to add this one? Virginity, vulvuloplasty, re-virginization? Why? WHY? We are surgeons, business women, CEO's, PR exec's, writers, academics, or just plain old Jane trying to get through another day but hell! This is not something to encourage in women, a self hatred of our sexual selves. And gentlemen, believe me when I say that you will have a far better time in the boudoir if your lady isn't a shrinking violet in virginal white. Who wants to be a teacher all the time huh?
Last I checked, Darfur was still a horrific mess, Haiti is effed right up and there are starving children all over the world - maybe stop obsessing about vaginas and expend the energy more constructively huh?

These are the options?

2010-02-27T07:42:00.003-05:00

It's no secret what my stance on women's reproductive issues are. Again, I am flabbergasted by the BS that is shoveled out by the pro-life movement. Here is another rebuttal about one of their "alternatives" to abortion. Adoption. "Oh dear, you need to love your child so much you are willing to give it life then give it up for adoption into a loving home". Ah yes, a loving home, with a dog, a cat and rich, white parents with the matching white picket fence. However, to get there dear children you'll hang out in the system for a while. The adoption process takes YEARS and MONEY - and lots of it; think $30 000 of it. And, if you happen to be less than the adorable, wide eyed, cherub cheeked child, well, you'll be on the shelf a lot longer sweet one. The adoption agencies are impenetrable walls. I myself have looked into adoption. I meet the requirements. No problem right? Wrong. I DON'T have to $5000 up front cost to OPEN a file. Oh yes just to OPEN a file. Shit and I do that for free daily! Then we have visits, more cash, and a long waiting period. If the agency doesn't think a particular child I have chosen to be a "fit" they turn me down. The autistic child for example or the diabetic child; I'll need a degree in ECC and an RN certification to get one of them. This is just the domestic adoption agency. The foreign one is much more complicated. You will need to attend classes where they teach you how to make sure your child stays connected to their heritage and doesn't turn around and say that you were a shitty parent because you treated them like a Canadian child with no roots - God forbid!! Well if you can wade through that swamp and actually get assigned (literal - you don't choose) a child, you must then go to the country where they live and spend two weeks there with them; great idea, makes sense; but wait, you're not done cousin! If your child is deemed medically unfit to be let into Canada, you put the child down, walk away, board your plane and start again - FROM THE BEGINNING - which means, all together now, MORE MONEY! So the child whose mother so selflessly and lovingly gave her up to the system, may very well languish there amid other children whose fate is similar or bounce from foster home to foster home until they are either adopted or become of age. I think we need a better Plan B.

The Future of ICD's?

2010-02-08T02:15:00.005-05:00

Returning from a weekend conference, I am feeling refreshed from professional discourse, idea sharing and not a little merriment. One of the most interesting presentations (for me at least), was an intriguing talk given by Dr. Riccardo Cappato on the initial patient experience with the still investigational subcutaneous ICD's. The positives of this novel approach to CRM device implantation were immediately apparent namely the following:

Fluoroscopy is not required intraop

risk of complications such as pneumothorax, hemothorax, myocardial perforation and lead dislodgement are completely removed

No introduction into the vascular system - especially useful in pediatric patients and patients with difficult or not vascular patentcy

No risk of SVC vein occlusion or need for possible laser lead extraction for subsequent lead revision

lower risk of lead dislodgement

These risks are minimized or bypassed due to the fact that the lead system is implanted entirely subcutaneously. The defibrillation coil runs parallel to the left aspect of the sternum and the lead body is then tunneled along (approximately) the 6th intercostal space to the device which is implanted parasternally (approximately 5 inches inferior to traditional placement and slighly more lateral).

The initial experiences that were reported described a virtually equivalent tolerance to alternate device placement, and not perceived increased patient discomfort when compared with traditional placement. DFT's were also successful at 65 joules or less allowing for a safety margin of at least 15J, given the devices maximum output at ~80 joules. This method of course is contraindicated in those who DO have an underlying pacing indication. That being said, the investigators did note that success of the post-shock pacing at higher than traditional values.

I personally am cautiously optimistic about the early success of this approach to implantation. I would like to see how the lead behaves chronically while it is in perpetual contact with subcuticular tissue. How will the leads perform chronically? How (if at all) will lead maturation manifest? Can the defibrillation coil become indurated with scar tissue? Will weight changes or either a decrease or increase in fat affect DFT's? How will that impact the leads efficacy? Only time will tell.

Discuss...

Arrhythmia Device Follow-up 101

2010-02-03T22:31:00.006-05:00

I have been encouraged to share the meager knowledge I have of arrhythmia devices for those who may be interested. A brief background of my involvement in these devices: I trained in Diagnostic Cardiovascular technology both on the electrophysiologic and imaging level. I began my arrhythmia device training (moving forward I will use the industry accepted acronym CRM - Cardiac Rhythm Management) at a university hospital in downtown Toronto back in early 2003. I currently run a pacemaker clinic at a different Toronto hospital. I wrote two exams, both the Canadian CRM specialty exam in 2006 and the IBHRE (International) exam in 2007. My posts will tend to run on the side of generality, but I hope even veterans in the industry may glean some benefit from this and future posts on the subject. I do not endeavor to insult any one's intelligence, nor is this an instructional post per say. I merely wish to share my experiences to either the benefit or amusement of my fellow cohorts. So, enough about me and on with the show so to speak.

It may sound a tad hokey but the greatest tool (usually) you have in your arsenal for following and troubleshooting CRM's is definitely your patient. Unless the patient is clearly a veterinary historian or otherwise inclined to vague and non-specific symptom relation, they are your best jumping off point. I can illustrate this with a very good example I recently encountered. A patient of mine, Mr. P, came to clinic for his annual check up. His original implant indication was sick sinus syndrome and for the past 5 years has had a total pacing percentage of no more than <0.1%.>30 bpm. He indeed after 5 years of almost no pacing, became fully pacemaker dependent. This is not an unusual occurrence as ~15-25% of SSS patients will develop varying degrees of AV block.
Mr. P was programmed to a rate responsive mode with a conservative rate response curve and performed a hall walk. In comparison with his marked shortness of breath walking 20 feet from the waiting room to the clinic versus the hallwalk totalling 60 feet, he was totally relieved of his symptoms with the new parameters.
I was quite lucky to have such a diligent and observant patient to aid me in programming his appropriately. More often than not, you will be met with stoicism or vague reporting of symptoms and parameters will by and large become trial and error.
The take home message here is listening to your patients can make your job easier.

Divorce Diary 1.2

2010-01-17T20:18:00.002-05:00

I haven't wrote in a while so here is the update of things I have learned .
1) Have $300 cash when you go to your lawyer - they WILL wait until a cheque clears to get to work.
2) I can't stress this one enough - READ EVERY WORD OF EVERY CONTRACT. THOROUGHLY - dictionaries are useful in the event of legal jargon
3) You divorce spouses, not family. This is much easier in theory than in practice.
4) You will get angry, you will feel homicidal, suicidal and every other '-cidal' in the book. This will pass I promise. Have extra-strength Advil available at all times.
5) Negotiate.
6) Cost and worth are VERY different
7) Facebook is NOT your friend
8) Your next relationship can't possibly be as bad as the last one; if it is you'll recognize it sooner - sooner than the wedding is optimal.
9) Get the dog
10) Don't hate your ex - it'll cost you; both lawyers will see to that (I totally avoided that one)
11) There is an untold, smug joy that the divorcee gets from watching "Say yes to the dress" and other associated wedding shows that plague television. You can't help but think 'sucker'.
12) Ladies, you will eventually realize that you can hammer, screw and calk just fine - in and out of the bedroom ;)
That's it for now my little divorced dollies. Stay tuned.

Divorce Diary Part 1.1

2009-10-02T22:22:00.002-04:00

Things I have learned so far:
1) you are only half responsible for the collapse of a marriage - usually.
2) Success or failure is equal parts effort and pure chance
3) BITE-YOUR-TONGUE always
4) Maintaining a professional tone will always help you keep your temper, after all this is now essentially a contract being dissolved albeit a marriage contract. View it as objectively as you would a business matter and it will go a long way to keeping an even temper.
5) As a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn, I think WWAD? She too got a divorce and did so with the utmost grace. I strive to be as she was.
6) You can only count on yourself, which is not a bad thing. Don't count on your friends being there for you or being able to understand what you are going through. Expect mutual friends to distance themselves completely. Everyone has their own lives and your drama is way too much for a third party to handle - unless you are paying them.
7) Keeping a schedule of good sleeping and eating habits will help you cope better.
8) Boxing is by far the best thing to do to let out your frustration. If it helps, paste an 8 x 10 photo of ex-spouse to a speed bag. Not very Zen but who gives a shit? (haven't needed to do this one yet)

Sadly this will not be the last of the divorce diary posts. It is just the beginning. Stay tuned.

Heart on Your Bumper

2009-09-18T11:32:00.002-04:00

I have a confession to make - I like making observational rants about things no one really cares about and, in the long run, doesn't make a difference one way or the other. A guilty pleasure of mine, much like vodka -er, coffee in the morning.
I spend a lot of time driving, A LOT, my morning commute can range anywhere from 45 minutes to 4 hours (no exaggeration, it happened) and then I repeat it at the end of the day. I'm not sure if I'm more pissed off in the morning anticipating my day to come or at the end of it when I've endured my day and I have to do it again tomorrow. Needless to say when I'm commuting I'm not very perky. I also commit a terrible sin against the environment, I drive, I hate public transit for two reasons - 1) it's unreliable where I live not to mention extremely expensive and 2) I don't want to listen to other people's crap whether on their cellphones talking at rock concert volumes or trying to talk to me about their gastrointestinal issues. I like my solitude. I spend all day everyday talking and listening to people so my commute is me time. Just me and my crap. But wait! There are bumper stickers. Since the drive can't physically talk my ear off, he or she decides to heap their opinions and views on me with a bumper stick which I will spend the better part of my traffic jam staring at.
Just take a look a few of these examples: "I love my Husband" - good for you
"I love my Wife" - aw thats sweet; "My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter" - I thought Jesus' step-father was the carpenter?; "1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 given" - that's clever. The religious ones just make me roll my eyes, that's nice you have faith, good for you. But these ones get my blood boiling: "Aren't you glad your mom was Pro-Life?" - yeah very glad, she got stupid drunk and kicked my ass down the stairs when I was 10, so much better than the abortion part (my mum never did that but some do); "Abortion: Big people killing little people" - ok so should we pull over and debate whether or not a fetus is a person or...?; "Save Social Security - Stop Aborting Future Contributors!" - uh, what guarantee do we have that the kids will get a job versus be still living with you at 40?; Or my all time favorite "It took two to conceive... where's the man's "choice"?" Uh, well does he want to carry it?; And finally this was on the back of a tempo with, I swear 4 kids in the back and one up front "Abortion kills children" - clearly not yours!
It actually gets me upset. I don't have a single bumper sticker on my car for two reasons 1) its tacky and 2) why do you care what I think anyway? I'll bet if I put a sticker on my car that said "my dog is cuter and smarter than your kid" it would offend people, but that's what I think about a lot of people's kids, but it doesn't mean I have to put it on my car.
I guess what I'm really getting at is why not keep your car clean and let everyone enjoy their coffee in peace without turning the highway into a podium for your views. Also have you considered that while people are occupied trying to read what the sticker says they may get distracted? Yep should be illegal.

Pro-Choice Part II

2009-07-12T08:49:00.002-04:00

So here I am again pontificating on the pro-life movement that seems to be gaining more ground and more advertising space. The current U.S Supreme court has several right wing members (particularly Scalia and Thomas) that would over turn Roe v. Wade whole hog in a heartbeat if permitted. Luckily they do have their left wing counterparts who are pro-choice (Stevens and Ginsburg). The right-wing is currently trying a "what about how the mother feels after an abortion?" tack. They claim that abortion is so traumatic for the woman that other alternatives should be explored.
Well, gentlemen (and the pro-life movement is predominantly men in Senate, ladies!) here's an alternate for you: The woman in question is 22, new grad, decent job. She's so busy that she had been so tired she fell asleep before taking her birth control at night a couple nights in a row. She sleeps with her boyfriend of two years. She becomes pregnant. He flips and bails saying his life can't go down like that (this is the option of all men, bail and they don't have to deal with it. Now have an opinion gentlemen). She doesn't want a baby period at this stage in her life never mind as a single mum but she decides to have the baby. She takes another job after the baby is born because $15/hour isn't cutting it. The kid grows up virtually without a mother since she works all the time. While her mother is at her night job, now 15 year old kid is hanging with friends, no one to check up on her. Drugs, sex, violence ensue. The kid has abandonment issues and a whole lot of insecurity that she tries to comfort in the arms of boys and mind altering substances. The story, as you can imagine does not continue well. But the mother took on her responsibilities, didn't abort a collection of cells and cause herself trauma. Instead the above scenario happened and now she has a traumatized 15 year old human, she herself is traumatized and anyone mixed up in the fall out. See my point? To spare a possible lifetime of hurt to a thinking, breathing and active human, doesn't the expulsion of a few cells and a few months of counselling seem to be the lesser of two evils? I'm not saying this happens to all single mothers and their children but the possibilities are much higher than the "conventional" way of having children.
I have seen a lot of parents who shouldn't be and their 'effed up kids. These kids become adults and take a whole lifetime of bad baggage with them. I have seen children born to parents who didn't want them develop diseases that are unheard of in the 21st century developed world through neglect and ignorance.
So my long winded point is, before casting a vote on what is traumatic to the mother and society as a whole, turn the situation over and examine every angle. Not ever child is blessed with fuzzy onesies and a good life and the life long damage that a less than loving upbringing can reap is no less than catastrophic.

Pipe it in

2009-06-17T00:20:00.000-04:00

Need your pipes checked? Ch-ch-ch-check it out. www.ppic.com

It's Not Rape Exactly...

2009-05-11T21:13:00.002-04:00

I am really shocked at myself for having taken this long to write about the "Marital rape law" or "Shia Family Law" as it is formally known, (I laughed too) that has been in the press lately. The law states “is bound to preen for her husband as and when he desires”. Another passage sanctions marital rape. “As long as the husband is not travelling he has the right to have sexual intercourse with his wife every fourth night . . . Unless the wife is ill or has any kind of illness that intercourse could aggravate, the wife is bound to give a positive response to the sexual desires of her husband.” Mmmm, just makes a woman want to throw off her burka and make sweet love to her husband doesn't it? I know nothing melts my butter like a militant government order to get screwed - literally- by my husband. But wait! That's not all folks, here we have Article 133 that states “A wife cannot leave the house without the permission of the husband” unless in a medical or other emergency." Well, what's a girl to do?

After International pressure was applied to the Afghan Government, they clarified themselves, I am paraphrasing here but the explanation went something like, a wife can refuse sex and if she does her husband doesn't have to feed her. Oh well, when you put it that way! If they had said 'no sex, no Visa card' that's a choice, hey I can live without shoes for a while but no sex, no food? Umm, not really a choice there boys!

This 'law' clearly has its supporters, not surprising mostly comprised of men, and is likely a campaign boosting attempt to gain votes before the upcoming election for which the already unpopular president is campaigning to be re-elected. The law, however, only applies to the Shiite Muslims, 15% of the Afghan population! These people hate the West (I'm making a blanket statement I realize, but stay with me...), they think we are on our high horse so to speak, that we feel superior to other cultures. This is not untrue. We do, and this is both warranted and unwarranted depending on the context, but what we can hold our heads up and say is that while Germaine Greer's dream of total gender equality in its utopian presentation has yet to be realized (if ever), we still treat our women as humans. The Afghanis would say this is why we have a demoralized, areligious, and promiscuous society. Yep sure do, but I don't see the men holding their hands up and saying no. They are as much a part of women's promiscuity, women have the freedom to choose what they do and with whom. I feel our society, with its flaws, has flourished with the inclusion of women in active society. Imagine the workforce without women. Most of healthcare would be absent, for example. I work in healthcare and certainly the XX chromosome group far outweighs the XY.

One has to wonder, even with a cursory knowledge of the Qu'ran, when and why this abhorrent treatment of women became not only accepted and practiced, but also legislated? I am proud to see that the women fought back against this law in the face of treats of bodily harm and mobs of angry men. Imagine, dear sisters, what panic and widespread horror would be brought on your men if you enacted a Lysistrada-like protest on your men? They would be brought to their knees, which is the perfect height to step on their...rights.

Welcome to Canada

2009-03-21T23:23:00.003-04:00

You left your home country and came to Canada to provide a better life for your family. The country you left, for any number of reasons, wasn't providing you with the opportunities that you needed and felt that Canada was a better bet. In some ways it is. You have children here, they go to school here and come of age here. You maintain your cultural values and traditions which is what makes Canada such a diverse place to live. Then your son or daughter brings home a white person or a person with differing traditions to your own. This makes you upset, scared and disappointed. There are two things to do; 1) deal with it 2) pitch a fit, tear apart the family and make everyone miserable in the quest to preserve tradition and conformity.
I have seen this first hand so many times that I wonder if we truly are as diverse and accepting as we think. So many marriages are entered into solely because each party is from the same part of the old country, the parents have applied so much pressure that to do otherwise would cause unbelievable hardship. So the kids conceed to a marriage of convenience.

Just a thought - why go to a country with such a diverse landscape of races and cultures and expect children raised within this diversity to ultimately marry only those with the same origins? Isn't love difficult enough to come by without the unnecessary criteria? Something to think about.

And God Said...

2008-11-04T23:06:00.003-05:00

Marriage, ah the final enpoint to feminine completeness! Oh what woman does not dream of her wedding day, to glide down the aisle toward her prince charming, smiling back at her awaiting her to become his wife. This, the very pinnacle of many dreams both for ladies and the commercial wedding machine alike, is an ancient safeguard bastardized into its current romantic incarnation. Any species primary goal is to survive, to eat, sleep and procreate to ensure its progeny survives to procreate yet another generation thus securing the species as a whole. Well that was supposed to be the whole goal of the game of life in its original design. Enter stage right birth control and the sexual revolution and that got all cocked up didn't it? But marriage, through it all has more or less survived such assaults on human evolution. But why?

Eons ago, when men finally realized the link between copulation and human regeneration, they got it - 'if I am to live on in a diluted form I must procreate with a female'. But hold the phone there padre, how do you ensure that it is infact your seed that has created the next generation to succeed yourself and carry your good name forth? Hmm, that's a pickle of a dilemma! 'Well,' man said, 'I simply must stake my claim on this vessel and make her swear fealty to me and me alone and protect (control) her so that I may be sure that the child is mine!' What a plan! Thus, dear ladies marriage was born.

I'm severely oversimplifying here but I'm sure my point is not lost. Once this dynamic was identified a fear crept into mankind as to the penultimate power of women as deceptive, manipulative creatures who held the very continuance of individual male geneaology in their panties or loin cloths - whatever. In order to control someone, as any successful dictator will tell you, you must make the object of your control feel inferior and weak. You must create a dependence in said person. Failing that, create abject fear, shit-your-pants, horrific fear! Enter Genesis 3:16 "...Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Shit! They thought of everything in that granddaddy of a toilet reader didn't they?

Since men had the backing of the creator of heaven and earth women had very little choice but to obey. Would you step up to a being who created the earth just by thinking about it? Yeah I wouldn't either.

So here we are. Throughout the centuries, marriage has been a negotiation tool in business, a salve for loneliness and and means to ensure the continuance of the human race. But hang on a minute - if it takes nine months to bake a child, and one man did that with one woman only that means she can only give a man one child per year! Not great odds pre-modern medicine when infant death rates were any where from 30-50% (guesstimates given poor documentation of the age) that's a fairly crummy average for one couple. While a man had viable sperm from puberty until death, a woman has a finite number of viable eggs. That seems like a whole lotta wasted sperm! So while a man had his wife at home pregnant with what could only be his child, he was still trying to sow his wild oats around ust in case -whether society and the church considered the child a bastard was really immaterial. It was and is a very involved and complex way of a man writing 'I was here' on the world.

Ladies, we are cunning aren't we? I mean if we weren't Victoria's Secrect wouldn't have the business they do right? We hook 'em and cook 'em! For the first little while in the courtship process they never encounter an unshaved leg, a messy bikini line or a make-upless morning. We push our breasts up to gravity defying heights and make them pant for what may lurk for them beneath our carefully crafted outfits. Glamour and Cosmo magazine fill in the rest of the blanks. I'm not ashamed to admit that, while I don't hide my true inner self, my outer self is dramatically transformed from the puffy, hairy, almost androgenous train wreck it can be on a Saturday morning to near goddess perfection (well, I'd like to think so after all that work!) by Saturday night. Yes, we are temptresses. It's all about the game people!

And so to my point. Marriage, once an arena for business ventures and basic human propagation has been tranformed into romantic love worthy of every crappy Hallmark card on offer for a mere $6.95. It's a total bait and switch tactic, start with the flowers and candles and end up with an extra 30 pounds and baby vomit down your now saggy boobs. Then, the man that sat rapt with attention for every word that spilled from your perfectly glossed pout, can barely muster enough attention when you bellow at him to take out the trash (and secretly hopes he saddles up on the curb with it). To my mind, centuries have transformed a straight forward business contract into an impossible romantic coupling. Can you imagine transforming your boss into your life partner? Eww! These days divorce is at an all time high. Why? In my not-so-humble opinion, it's because we now have this Cinderella bullshit romance to measure up to and we end up feeling like utter failures when we can't get it up for the man who we just finished scrubbing shit stains out of his underwear for! Did Cinderella do THAT!? Doubt it.

When a relationship is forced into a mold that it was never supposed to fit into in the first place, that's when fractures occur. Try it with a piece of pottery next time. You'll see.

2008-09-12T22:04:00.002-04:00

"I just want to be loved"

Hey ladies! Dante Moore wants us to be Re-Educated!

2008-09-12T21:40:00.003-04:00

Dante Moore's recently released tome "The Re-education of Women" has attracted a lot of ire from women. He says that his book will teach women to get and keep a man. That's fair. His advice is shit but fair. It's his point of view, and maybe those of a select group of men that can't figure women out and have given up trying. So, Mr. Moore, here's the straight goods from me (my resume DOES contain marriage by the way). Women love to please their men especially in the early days of a new relationship. We'll try almost anything to entice you and perform a near flawless mating dance for you that will keep you entranced. If you notice us wearing sweats more and more, gaining weight at an unbelieveable pace and storing the make-up, well friend, we're losing interest. You've stopped making an effort and now so have we. Show me a woman (barring any hormonal influence) who would curl up in ugly sweats and sneakers when her man turns up proffering a nice dinner out and a great bottle of wine. She doesn't exist.

Let's turn this around a bit. The following is not fiction. A woman makes sure she always looks fabulous on the arm of her man. She makes sure she looks decent even when she's ill. Not because she feels she has to in order to keep her man but because she enjoys it. He, on the other hand has quickly declined from a fit, adventurous man to sitting in front of the tube, swilling booze and watching T.V. Gentlemen, according to Mr. Moore, if you won't take us out and appreciate our efforts, some bro around the corner will (to turn Mr. Moores colloquialism around from 'broad').

So the moral of the story, dear reader, is that while pandering to your man (or woman) will keep them around for a while, it won't keep them indefinitely. What makes it work is the meeting of two people more or less in the middle. Feed off of each other. Monkey see monkey do. You see him making an effort to be fit and look good, you make the same effort. If she suggests a new, fun thing to do, try it and then she will try to come up with the next fun thing to do. This is idealistic but a good recipe to try to follow. Its really kind of simple if you think about it.

There you have it and I didn't charge $14 for it.

Aborted Politics

2008-08-28T09:39:00.002-04:00

In both Canadian and American politics within the campaigns of conservative/republican candidates it seems that women's right to choose has once again become the religious vote lock in. Roe vs Wade took place 35 years ago and still this is a major topic on the political agenda. Conservative men seem to be uncomfortable with women being given the ultimate decision-to continue their line or prevent its propagation. For 35 years, this has stuck in the sides of men. Nothing bothers me that much to attempt an overturn for over a quarter century.

Abortion is a touchy subject even among women in living rooms and cafes. We too are divided. I don't hide my views, I am steadfastly pro-choice. This automatically paints a picture in conservative minds of a child hating, promiscuous whore baby killer. Not true. I adore children, and using abortion as a form of birth control is irresponsible to say the least. What seems to escape the general populace is that the decision to have an abortion is not one akin to having ones nails done. 'to do today, get mani-pedi, buy bread, abort fetus', not so simple and casual. This decision comes fraught with anxiety, fear, regret, remorse and sadness, in varying combinations and severity of emotion. I know women who have had an abortion for whatever reason and they all wish they didn't have to but all admit that they are glad they made that decision. Pro-lifers would have them painted as hussy's that wanted to shirk responsibility and the inconvenience of child bearing and rearing. I fully disagree, as I have witnessed as many no doubt do daily, clear examples of shit parents. These children of said shit parents are treated like the unwanted beings they are. Their parents aren't resigned to loving them and caring for them now that their here but simply deign to have them around. Harsh but true.

In Levitt and Dubner's "Freakonomics" released in hardback in 2005, they link the reduction in violence in major cities not to the increased police presence but to abortion. Those who would have had children in less that ideal circumstances, were not. What about birth control? the pro-lifers say. How could you be so irresponsible? Life is so rarely that black and white. There are many circumstances in which birth control fails. Abstinence is a farcical 'solution' to the problem of an unwanted pregnancy. We are sexual beings. The husband and wife take comfort in sex during a difficult financial time or period of illness and end up pregnant despite their best efforts to prevent it. The time is not just inconvenient, it is unacceptable to bring a child into. The couple dating who experience an unwanted pregnancy who aren't ready for marriage, etc. I could give a novel of a list of reasons for abortion to be sought, and to each one an equally good argument could be had. Why don't they just suck it up and have the child? why not give it up for adoption? etc. All very easy to say, completely different to do. Why not get married? Have the child, the marriage isn't working and the money isn't coming in, no for the cute outfit at Baby Gap but for the 25 cent jar of baby food. Then the husband, in such despair over his situation begins drinking. At the same time so too begins the beatings. Fighting and divorce ensue. The child is now five years old and her first exposure to a "loving couple" has been the nightly beatings her mother got. True story folks.

Whatever the reasons (I beg the reader's pardon for my lengthy tirade) for abortion, it needs to stay legal and available to women. We will find a way, legal or no, as our fore-mothers did. Abortion as a politic agenda should be forever put to bed and left alone. Women must have the right to choose, and will exercise that right like it or lump it. If the conservatives are so very bothered by it, close the door to your walnut panelled study and pour yourself a brandy. Ivory towers rarely see far enough to witness suffering anyway.

Fur-get it

2008-08-18T21:44:00.002-04:00

I have a confession-I am an incurable Vogue, Elle, Harpers Bazaar, fashion magazine addict. It is my porn mag. I hide this fact behind my current copy of the Great Gatsby and The Prosecution of George Bush for Murder. I decry their significant in my library infront of fellow bibliophiles but they are, nonetheless, my dirty, guilty, secret pleasure. A Saturday afternoon, a brand new Vogue and a glass of wine is my favorite escape. That said, I was disappointed and, frankly appalled when I saw a chinchilla coat featured in one of the pages.

I have three chinchillas. They are as smart (if not more) than my dog, they are sweet and trainable. I could no more wear dog fur as I could chinchilla. The method of destroying these animals is equally disturbing. I found this out when I unwittingly bought a guide to chinchilla health authored by a chinchilla farmer. She was and is an authority on chinchilla rearing, though my motives were much, much different. I can't recount here the method in which these lovely animals are dispatched, its too emotional for me. I am not a strict vegan, I love my Cole Haan leather purse, I don`t pontificate on the use of animals for food or clothing. A cow is killed and the meat is used for food. The skin is used for clothing. In the end the whole animal is used. I have plenty of vegan friends that would disagree with my rationale however, it is a fact. To create a chinchilla hat, for example, you require at least eight animals - EIGHT!- to make a hat. For a car coat at least 150 animals. They are small and the whole pelt is not used for clothing, only the dorsal portion, the belly fur being discarded due to colour and texture. The meat cannot be used, it is too muscular and sparse. I`ve never seen chinchilla on a menu even in the most progressive, outrageous restaurants. The chinchilla only looks large because their fur is long, but their bodies are quite slim and lithe.

I carry on about chinchillas because I am the joyful owner of three but my rant extends to all other animals which are destroyed solely for their pelts. We don`t need fur. Fur looks great and a beautiful fur bolero finishes off any outfit for winter. However, textile technology has progressed to such an extent that faithful reproductions can be made that only the designer themselves would be able to discern as an imposter. And seriously, if anyone approaches you and proceeds to pet your coat-they owe you a dinner.

Can we all stop using fur? I personally think that unless you're a mob moll from 1935, fur had its time as an emblem of luxury. If you want to display overt luxury and an 'I have more money than sense' aura, buy a conflict free diamond. Now there's a statement.

Vincent Bugliosi - my hero without a cape

2008-08-17T22:50:00.003-04:00

This post is an addendum to my previous post dated August 05, as I have continued to read through Mr. Bugliosi's book.

Mr. Bugliosi has presented fact upon fact that the Bush administration has deliberately and knowingly lied to the American people to further their agenda. I'm not sure what that sour taste is in my mouth, the lies the American government told or the ease with which the American people bought into such lies. I remember thinking while casually following the developing war campaign in Iraq 'how could such a financially poor country purchase such large quantities of Uranium?' I knew Hussain was indeed rich but a dictator doesn't become so by putting his own money into WMD construction. In a country where more people vote for their American Idol and purchase more US and People magazines than they do The New York Times, can we expect anything more.

My opinions matter little since I am not American (thankfully) however I do resent the fact that Canadian Soldiers are being deployed for "peace keeping" missions. They are still killed by roadside bombs and insurgents. One cannot honestly blame the insurgents or even civilians that throw stones or fire weapons at soldiers. Would you not do the same had your husband, brother, sister or even child been wounded or killed as a result of the war? I watch as a good friend of mine re-reads the last letter her friend sent her before being killed in a "friendly fire", sadness glazing over her eyes. He was young, vibrant and healthy, killed by American cowboys bent on being heroes instead of heeding orders from their commanding office.

Is everyone asleep? When the first friendly fire occurred I was outraged! I railed against it in my overbearing and opinionated way, and was met with down turned eyes and weak shrugging shoulders. Friendly fire in and of itself is an oxymoron, like saying kind evil or happy sadness. It is ludicrous.

This war has lined the already bulging pockets of a few select fat cats and left thousands, thousands!, with ruined lives. I have the privilege of secondhand insight into the ravages of war through a close friend. I have listened quietly, rapt with attention as my friend recounts the Gulf War and his escape. The sad fact is, he is not the only one I have listened to tell such tales. To listen to these stories, one must truly listen and feel the pain and anxiety to full appreciate it.

What have the American people given up for this war they were so in favor of? World War II brought wide spread rationing of supplies and in some countries,compulsory surrender of all metals, yes even your wedding ring, for the war effort. Had the American people been told "hey we need to go to war to fight the TERRORISTS! Uh but you gotta hand over that SUV and oh the plasma T.V's gotta go too...war effort n' all" American's would have shit themselves, and put their fat foot down, 'no way man!' But onward Christian soldiers, you can keep your gas guzzlin' SUV, your T.V, your Kentucky Fried Chicken, and your kids can still go to soccer practice. You can listen to your satellite radio, watch American Idol, American Gladiator, American programming at its best. Your life is unchanged. If the war were to cease tomorrow, there would be no parade or kissing in the streets, mobs would not pile into Times Square to watch the coverage on T.V. Hell you may not even know about for several days or weeks. Precisely because you have not been affected in any way. Unless you are a mother in Michigan whose only son came back in a box in "un-viewable" condition, and you now have to deal with the heart pulverizing loss of your flesh and blood along with the foreclosure on your house that you couldn't make payments on from your wages at the local Wal-Mart. The congressmen's kids are currently tooling around town in their brand new Mercedes-Benz. They didn't need to enlist to get college money. Daddy found some in the couch.

Why, you ask, does this small town Canadian feel so angry? I'm angry because bullshit has always pissed me off. I'm not anti-war. I'm anti-war without reason. If country A is going to bomb the crap out of my country, yes I want to prevent it. If Country A has something my country wants, talk it out boys! I am by no means fractionally as intelligent or current as Mr. Bugliosi but my parents did a decent job of giving me some common sense. And by that I live. My common sense tells me that this war, this current American government administration, and American people are full of shit.

Wake up people. It's not too late.
(This is by far my longest post and rambles terribly but hey, it's my blog after all)

Crime and Punishment

2008-08-05T21:23:00.004-04:00

The war in Iraq has claimed many lives both those in service and civilians under siege in their rural and previously quiet villages. It is a war that, in general agreement, is totally superfluous and without foundation. Even in my smallish city in Ontario several kilometers outside Toronto, I know people who bear wounds from this war.

Vincent Bugliosi, LLB in his most recent published work "The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder" wages his own well thought out and masterful war on the current American president. My first question is "Is George Bush really the mastermind behind this mass murder?" I myself suppress a snicker at my question's use of the word "mastermind" and "Bush" in the same sentence. I somehow feel a small degree of pity for the man who, like the imbecile child has been manipulated into delinquency by his intellectual betters (Rumsfeld, Cheney et al), though by no means misunderstand my phraseology of misdemeanor in relation to the war.

My second question is, is this really the first time the American government has used manipulation and frank lies to initiate war (Pearl Harbor ring a bell) ? Can we persecute one without all who are guilty? It seems to me, and I'm certain most of the rational thinking and literate public, that Bush is a mere puppet to those who have had this planned long before Bush had sobered up from his last college bender.

But for the sake of argument and simplicity lets say this was his idea all along (pause for laughter) and he orchestrated the war in Iraq (for which he would be hard pressed to located on a map of the world), is he personally liable for damages caused to the service men and women and civilians alike or is his government also equally liable? And lets say that any one of the states that has suffered the loss of one of their own, that is to say all of them, were to bring forth legal proceedings against him/his government, what would his penalty be? Life imprisonment? Death? Financial remuneration? None of these hold any possibility due to varying penal procedures in each state. The jurisdiction logistics alone would take decades to tease out.

As much as I would love to see ol' Bush in a Texas chain gang digging road side pits, this dream shall never be. The truth, dear reader, is that he will quietly slink away from office at the end of this term to a quiet ranch in back water Texas (the man will never leave America, dumb as he is he is well aware of the price on his head. Also you have to know that France is in Europe to actually go there) only likely to be heard from again in twenty years when some distant relation with a publishing grant will write some watery tripe about the puppet president. He will retire with his decent pension and beloved dog(s).

So, my final thought (did I hear someone say 'finally!!' ?), is press on dear Bugliosi esq., though your vision is certainly a Utopian one, it does fail to inspire hope that at least one person had the stones to say what everyone thinks but was always too scared or too stupid to say. Here's to you. Cheers.

Feminine Mistake?

2008-07-19T23:39:00.002-04:00

To preface this post I must clarify my position, or rather, in the absence of my own defined position at least explain my current standing. I am neither pro- nor anti-feminism as I feel each brings forth its own set of arguably good points. I believe women should function in the professional world to the same standards with the same remuneration as our male colleagues. On strictly biological terms, this is not possible. Where men will discuss, argue and ultimately resolve on a strictly objective level, we women tend to not only tackle the situation at hand but also the underlying issue(s) driving the situation i.e. colleague conflict. This is neither better nor worse, simply a difference of approach.

On the home front, I was raised in an equal roles home. Both parents worked, one cooked the other cleaned, one bathed the children while the other put them to bed. When one parent was overwrought with work or other life stresses the other parent would pick up the slack. Any other way is foreign to me. So, in a nut shell, I am all for equality. I believe in the core tenet as discussed by Betty Friedan in her widely popular book "The Feminine Mystique" which propounded the view that women could be fulfilled outside of the wife and mother roles historically considered the only acceptable roles for women.

But have we come that far from the June Cleaver era? Have we, in our search for equality pushed ourselves into a new, and ultimately impossible paradigm of wofe, mother, successful business woman and all around superwoman? If a woman devotes her life to her career she is considered a robot, a slave to the dollar and "the life". If she decides to stay home and raise her child she is considered a "Stepford Wife". If she decides to take on the two roles simultaneously she's, well insane and bound to burn out. As much as women have tried over the centruries to find our own voice, it seems that we have inadvertantly begun to drown in the din of our own war cries. We want to do it all, while men still carry on quid pro quo. And who can blame them? They no longer have the stress of being sole bread winner, they can come home on time, take the weekend off and maybe even golf on Friday afternoons.

Also in our bid to create gender equality, we have confused the opposite sex. They don't know how we'll take it if they pick up the bill on a date, or hold the door, or attempt to order us a drink. We bitch about the death of chivalry but just as quickly give them the stink eye when they even attempt to treat us as less than one of the guys.

In the end women have made great strides to make our voices heard in the world, to break away from the kitchen and make a difference across all areas of the business world. At the same time the dating landscape has been changed forever and chivalry may still exist however it will definately take a strong man to look another strong woman in the eye as he challengingly seizes the cheque from the dinner table.

Oh man oh man

2008-06-18T21:32:00.003-04:00

I live vicariously through my single friends who are navigating this shit-hole called dating. Not one of them is content. Excited? yes, thrilled? sometimes, frustrated? Definately!! Through listening to their stories, both men and women, I come to the conclusion that neither has any idea about the other. The woman feels played, the man petrified by the women's projections, perceived or real. Women, my approach has always, rightly or wrongly, been very forward. This may be my capricious youth or my Aries nature but I found that it cleared up a lot of crap before it piled up. It freaks men out when you say "ok, what's the deal? Are we or aren't we?" Life is too short and I found that after the initial excitment of the mating dance, my feet got tired. I wanted to know if my energies were worth it. I know I put everything into it to make it work, but I want confirmation that my efforts are futile.
Men, we aren't all psycho wife and mothers in training, hoping with all hope that you will put a ring on our finger and knock us up so we can strap you down and make you miserable. A lot of us just want someone to go to a museum with, drink beer with, watch soccer with. We're annoying at times, we whine, we get pissed off at thing s that may seem trivial to you. One word on that - hormones. We really don't want to be crazy, bloated bags of hormones and fully agree we're insane but it only lasts a week or so, so suck it up buttercup and deal with it. After all the other three weeks ain't half bad.
If we didn't play games, dating would be clean, stress free and easy. Of course love songs would cease to exist or hold any relativity.
What if you told a woman "hey I actually feel like crap this week and just want to get laid" some will slap you and storm off, others would say " yeah me too! Let's get er done!" Then if you fall for someone tell him/her.
I look at the dating culture and reach for the Valium. You need to be sedated to go through this shit. Until then, wanna see a movie?

Diana & Dodi

2008-04-26T21:19:00.005-04:00

I have read the Dominic Dunne article in the recent (May 2008) issue of Vogue regarding the inquest into the deaths of Dodi Al Fayed and Princess Diana, over ten years after their untimely death. The article rehashes all of the well known and lesser known 'facts' of what happened on the night of August 31, 1997 in Paris. Many facets of both their lives come into question and are held up to the bright lights of the London court room for speculation. Was DIana pregnant? Was she in love with Dodi? Did Dodi have a jilted American fiancee? My only question throughout the whole article was 'who cares?' Their deaths were tragic and many people close to them continue to feel the void they left. No amount of speculation regarding their relationship status, previous relationships, pregnancy, or marriage prospects is going to change the inescapable fact that they are dead. Dianas children I'm sure would like the issue to rest. To have their mother's last few months dragged out under the microscope must be terribly painful.
As for Dodi's father who continues to force the 'conspiracy theory' rightly or wrongly does a terribly injustice to his son's memory. No doubt he believes the theory that Diana and Dodi's deaths were planned and carried out on orders from the Royal family, but to fight to prove or disprove it is prolonging everyone's pain, a metaphorical picking of a scab.

The fact of the matter is is that they died. It was a terrible tragedy. A father should never bury his child and two young sons should not have to live without their mother. But it happened and no amount of speculation will change that.

It has been over ten years since their deaths. It is well passed due to let them rest in peace.

Today's Rant

2008-03-12T22:43:00.002-04:00

1) The next male doctor who hands me a file thinking I'm "the secretary" will get an upper cut to the jaw

2) Please, please, PLEASE, stop rubber necking on the highway at accidents. If it's not a naked model from a Calvin Klein add throwing money at cars I;m just not interested

3) Driving + Crackberry texting = your a 'tard

4) Prefacing every question with "can I ask you a question?" - what, like another one?

5) Please leave a message - it's that simple, not call back 16 times clogging my voicemail with your hangups

6) In line at the gas station at peak hours checking e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e lottery ticket you have saved up since 1998

7) Taking so long at the cafteria ATM at 1215 pm when I now have 10 minutes left for lunch that I begin to think you are doing the company payroll

8) Move up when you are done with the drive through order window. Don't be that guy who sits one car length away thereby preventing me from getting close enough to order. I can't be held responsible for my actions prior to coffee consuption. Fair warning.

9) Thats actualy it - I think (hey cheaper than therapy!)

Boys, please!

2008-03-10T22:45:00.004-04:00

This is a little tip for a few of you boys out there. Making clicking noises and kissey faces at women you find attractive will never get you laid! This is the absolute truth, I promise you that. I was in a restaurant today and the "man" (I use that term so very, very loosely) who was the perpetrator of said kissey face complete with clicking noise, was sitting with several of his other male friends. Whether he found me attractive or just wanted to mess with me, I don't know. Either way it was really sad...for him. What am I a f**cking cat!? What in the world possessed this person to think that this action would have a favourable result? Does this actually work on some women? Seriously? "Hey Lori, that guy just called out to me like a cat! I think I'm going to see if I can get his number." That would never, ever happen, unless of course said woman's last meaningful discourse with a man consisted of a spoon and a guy called Hagen Daas.

Please, please, please gentlemen, do not do this, not for me but for your penises! Really boys, it's shameful.

Who's Image is it Anyway?

2008-03-09T19:38:00.002-04:00

Bare with me, I'm on a religion kick. I'm having a brief literary affair with Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. I'm sure it will end soon. However until then, here goes.

A lot of religions out there, Christian religions especially, have the obnoxious view that they hold the one and only truth, the One True God. Homosexuals, infidels (Islam extremists I'm looking your way) and heretics should die and go to hell. They are sub-human and unworthy of the truth, the light and the love of God or Allah or whatever. So, following the lead of the Evangelicals, and I quote the Bible "Let us make man in our own image, after our likeness; and let them have stewardship over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth" (Gen. 1:26-28). I have read this over and over, I have gone one page before it and one page after, just in case it said "so kids this one is for the Catholics/Jews/Islam etc." I went to Catholic school people so I do have some idea regarding the Bible, having it crammed down your throat every day for thirteen years will give you a bit of familiarity.

So having quoted Genesis, can anyone tell me who God was making in his image? Could it be just the Catholics? Or maybe just straight people? If that's true then those wily homos have done a great job of going around looking like us straight people! If certain religions want to hide behind the Bible/Qu'ran/Torah (whatever) they must take THE WHOLE THING, not just the bits and pieces that suit their agenda. So back to God making man in His image (by the way, if we take the Bible literally, then us chicks are screwed!), I think that in lieu of specification, one must assume that the Bible is saying all (wo)man regardless of religion, race or sexual orientation.

My final word to all those who persecute others different from themselves, what makes you think that you or your religion is so damn special that the truth is yours alone? Wake up and smell the hypocrisy! Every man, woman and child is made in His image. Persecute them and you persecute the Lord. Think about that the next time you judge.

Preaching over!

Common Sense in the USA - MIA

2008-03-08T15:37:00.003-05:00

Lately I have been reading a lot of the newest books debunking religion and God. I haven't completely weighed in on everything yet, for me to discard the notion of my God would almost be like no longer brushing my teeth every day. Its been with me since I was a child. I was raised relatively secular with the most religious thing thrown around in my house was "do to others what you would have them do to you" translation be nice. When we did go to church it felt forced, unnatural, I remember my mum kneeling in prayer and while she did her best to act natural, she still seemed like she was wearing cold, wet underwear. It never seemed natural to me either.

I have always felt really uncomfortable with ultra religious people. I feel like they all see me as deluded, like a parent watching a clueless child explain the logistics of Santa Claus on Christmas eve. Take for example Creationist vs Darwinian theory of evolution. Most of the Bible Belt in the US believe in creationism, that we appeared from Adam and Eve and we are now as we were then. I personally don't buy this, that Noah but everything two by two onto an ark and saved the world as we now know it. If that were so, every single animal would have either become genetically mutated to the point that they would be no more than a puddle with eyes or die out entirely (think Hapsburg line).

As for the Darwinian theory it kind of makes sense. How can you dispute the discovery of bones found that show though humans looked markedly different millions of years ago, we stood up straight and walked, there is even evidence that they spoke. In the face of such compelling evidence the creationists scoff, and hold up an overly translated book as proof positive. Remember that game Telephone that you may have played as a child? After 10 people the story's unrecognizable from the original, so what do you think happened after 2000 years?

These same religious fanatics who believe in Noah's Ark, Jesus resurrecting from the dead etc., would call you insane if you said you saw something like a ghost or a spirit, or that you believed God sent messages to some people through their dreams. So as I understand it, only one small group of people in history were allowed magical powers and the rest of us peasants are supposed to read about it and believe it and tithe to the institutions that represent these magical beings. If you oversimplify it becomes kind of ludicrous.

I don't mean to make fun or offend anyone, I just want to point out the hypocrisy that surrounds fanaticism. I don't want to throw out the beliefs of religion, what I do want is for people of a strong religious bent to be tolerant and open minded to alternative explainations of our being. Believing in scientific findings for the theory of evolution does not mean that you turn your back on your religion, or your God(s). You can have yur cake and eat it too.

So I forgot my password...

2008-03-08T15:26:00.000-05:00

This is a continuation of my previous blog "Just a Thought". I wrestled with my login and password resetting etc for an hour, gave up and decided to start a new one. I encourage you to read my previous posts at http://arnold-eitzen.blogspot.com/.